Breathe. Properly.

Was at the main office this week (and will be, next week) to work on a job with the Osaka people. I'm sure they are harmless but several things really got on my nerves.

1) The guy couldn't come up with a schedule for needing me to work there when my manager asked, and said it's flexible. When we told him that I have a few meetings with clients lined up for these 2 weeks, he made a fuss and said I should have told him earlier so that he could plan. Till date, no plans in sight.

2) I was supposed to be there to perform some translation and risk analytics. Turned out translation < 5% and analytics < 1% of my work. Spent 95% of the time copying and pasting, which

  a) could have been done in secs using DB tools, faster, more accurately. I bet they just don't know how! Will suggest tmr!

  b) can be done by junior staff who are much cheaper and do not have main job assignments

3) I arrived 10mins late today and this senior staff called me and said "遅刻です。" He didn't say a thing when I stayed in during lunch and worked later in the night. I must have stayed too long in my team to take kindness for granted.

ANYWAY, I'm very tempted to run away during lunch time everyday coz I can't imagine having lunch with these people in sight. The saddest thing is I have ran out of excuses today and tmr seems like the day I have to entertain them. =(

The main point/motivation of this post is to celebrate the fact that I bumped into crushee! The place I'm working at currently is where his team is located, and he works at where my team is! Technically we don't get to meet and I thought we'll, that's it for the 2 weeks ahead!

But no, after an excruciating day of battling with the excel sheets (probably written on my face), I was at the loo to make myself look more proper (*i can look pretty goofy while engrossed in work). I walked out to the lift lobby, and I saw HIM! And he saw ME! I did away with a nod,「お疲れ様です」 and looked down at the floor since 1) I was tired 2) I didn't know how to react 3) I don't know what to talk to him abt 4) I'm not sure if he knows me (ok, that's abut exaggerating but let's leave it as a mere possibility 5) possibility of him disliking me 6) all of the above, but he being the subject instead.

And so I just stood behind him and waited for the lift, and continued looking everywhere else but him. He turned over but didn't say a thing. Luckily the lift came, and we entered it with the rest of them. He then turned and asked which engagement I'm working for, with who etc... And I was like, oh and u on your way back to Marunouchi (my office)?

It's probably the first time I've looked at him so closed up and I was thinking to myself "oh man, he's so skinny! And look at his white hair!!". Then again, he might be thinking stuffs like "omg she looks like such a mess, messy dry hair, pimply crumpled face but oily at the same time!".

The ride wasn't long, so we reached the first floor and I thought we would have to continue talking till we part ways. But he bumped into his colleagues at the ground floor, who said tried to chat up with him. I fled towards the escalator and when I was looking back (in case he could see me taking flight), he was in the one-step-held-back-but-one-step-wanting-to-go-ahead posture.

And so I walked quickly in my 7cm heels, even down the escalator, not wanting to look back in case I see him.

Now, I must learn to breathe properly.

And now, life can be filled with small harmless imaginary fun this way...

Totally unrelated but I just thought its funny to see my nephew being poked fun at by my sis, his own mom.

Realization

Got involved in a job whereby I witnessed someone of high authority not doing the right things because he would like to please his client. As much as I am frustrated w work and how things are heading at my end, I'm so glad that the partner in my team made the right decision. (Though I wish he can do more by whistle blowing...)

This is when I realize the heavy responsibilities our jobs bear.

It's also today that I realize we are all trying to do what we believe us right. But unfortunately, there are people who work by trying to convince themselves and others that they are doing the right things. I wish I could slam those facts right in their faces when it's finally official that whatever they are trying to smoke their way through doesn't work haha...

Expiry

I gained another 3 years in this land, another 3 years for me to find out if I actually prefer/do not mind staying put.

Was talking to this junior today about problems with clients, and she (a Japanese) asked if its only here that you get customers this fussy. Well people are troublesome in their different ways so u just get different types of troubles overseas. Just as someone always told me, it's always about cleaning up shit everywhere. The only difference is how much shit and how much compensation you get paid. So wise.

Ive been anything but productive at work these days. I can blame it on the weather, or distractions from crushees... The only real cause can only be lack of motivation man... 

*やる気ボタンお探し*

Race

This feels like a race where you will get outrun anyway...